I'd likely end up talking the ladies into attending night school, or walking my dog for a nominal fee. Yes, I write this from my middle-class pedestal. I've never fallen on life-threatening hard times, but I know this: Women, every single one of them, are worth more than their bodies. In an ideal world, everyone would see that. But clearly, I'm a newbie in this world. In the interest of exploring all sides of the debate, I tracked down a friend-of-a-Facebook-friend who agreed to talk to me about his experience with prostitutes — or "prosties" as he called them — and why he frequents a Toronto brothel.
Tim, a divorced year-old from Mississauga who hasn't had free sex in over six months, met me at a pub. I was shocked at how easy it was to find someone with personal experience and didn't know exactly what to ask. Thankfully, he wanted to share. He admits that "regular sex" would be a better option, but says it's difficult to meet people in his circles. Still, "doing it with someone I see a lot … that'd be better I guess.
He tells me about his lost love, his ex-wife. His eyes light up when he talks about their honeymoon heat — but they darken again when the conversation turns. He starts ranting about one lady in particular at the "house" he frequents. His emotional attachment to her is clear "she's pretty and really sweet, you'd like her, I swear" and he genuinely thinks she cares about him. What about your safety? Tim's response is quick, and blunt: He uses protection, but admits, "when I get to that point and I'm there, I'm not worried about safety.
When Tim and I part ways, I walk home, confident in my original advice, but saddened for those who can't avoid prostitution. The decision to pay someone for sex not only diminishes the act, I think to myself, but devalues both parties involved. Have a sex question? This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff. Non-subscribers can read and sort comments but will not be able to engage with them in any way. Click here to subscribe. If you would like to write a letter to the editor, please forward it to letters globeandmail.
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Article text size A. Open this photo in gallery: What makes a man sleep with a sex worker? We asked 3 escorts to quiz their clients. Although the relationship occurred before Whittingdale was made a minister he says he ended it when he found out about her line of work! He was chair of the Commons Culture, Media and Sport Committee, which was instrumental in the phone-hacking scandal. After all, research reveals that one in 20 men has willingly slept with a sex worker anyway.
But why do men visit escorts, and is it just about the sex itself? We asked three sex workers to quiz their regular clients.
She started ten years ago, after her former husband stopped paying maintenance and she found herself struggling to raise their two children alone. He has been visiting Claire for four years. I find my job very stressful. If I come to you, it is the complete opposite: I feel like I am the complete focus of your attention. I can talk to you, and you listen to my every word. And when we go to bed, you do everything you can to pleasure me. She lost interest in sex years ago. My wife would never dream of asking me what I like.
I know she works hard too, and she hardly ever asks me for help with the shopping or cleaning. I started going to strip clubs with my colleagues from work years ago. I really liked it and found it very relaxing. Occasionally I have nightmares about my teenage sons discovering what I do, which would probably be worse than my wife finding out. No one in the house would ever speak to me again. I still really enjoy it. So I guess it is an addiction. You make me feel so good about myself, like I have really pleased you, too.
I feel fine, very happy and relaxed after seeing you. I worry about you a lot. When their relationship broke down three years later, she found herself struggling to bring up two children on her own.
She admits that escorting has not only helped her financially, but has made her a stronger and more confident person. She sees around 12 clients a week at their homes or in hotels, and relies on word of mouth to get custom. Sabia describes him as easy to talk to with a lovely deep voice and soft northern accent. My wife and I have a very good marriage.
The problem is, I need more sex than she gives me. So coming to you seems like a good compromise — a way of getting what I need without letting my wife down. I justify what I do by reminding myself that I work hard all day, so coming to see you is my reward for being a good husband and father the rest of the time. Who you are and what you are makes the experience fascinating. When I turned 40, my friends bought me a certificate for a massage at a sports centre.
I loved it — it was very sensual. That led me to find people who gave more of an intimate service, so to speak. I feel liberated about it.
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